Cruise Reviews, Ship Reviews by The Avid Cruiser

An urgent note to the owner of SeaDream Yacht Club: Joel Katz has taken command of one of your yachts.

There’s no need to panic, Mr. Brynestad. The vessel is in good hands, I assure you. The ever-gracious Mr. Katz has even promised to return SeaDream I at the end of the week.

With all due respect, Mr. Brynestad, the fact that Mr. Katz could take charge of your fine vessel can be blamed on no one but you.

As Mr. Katz himself so eloquently put it: “When you’re on SeaDream, you go from being e a passenger to being an owner.” Apparently, Mr. Katz took that conviction a tad too literally.

Indeed, appearing thoroughly in charge on the day I met him last week on SeaDream I, Mr. Katz even held the composure of a yacht owner. He was Onassis-like (remember the Greek shipping tycoon?) as he puffed on a fine cigar and sipped Johnnie Walker (I’m compelled to inform you, Mr. Brynestad, that the whiskey was from your personal collection — there may be a noticeable “dent” in the bottle next time you reach to take it off the shelf).

Katz was not the only one deluded into thinking they were yacht owners, my dear Mr. Brynestad. A charming young lady named Wendy actually forced Captain Bjarne Smorawski to alter a scheduled departure.

“Forced” may be a bit strong. Wendy simply expressed a wish that SeaDream I would depart later than originally scheduled from Marigot. Captain Smorawski shrugged his shoulders and complied with a what-can-I-do look. “After all,” he said. “We’re yachting, not cruising.” (Truthfully, and I mean no disrespect to the affable captain, but it was his answer to everything. Don’t feel like dressing up for dinner? It’s OK, “We’re yachting, not cruising.”)

Mr. Brynestad, this may seem a bit extreme, but I would advise you to consider downgrading your product — start charging for alcohol, pour less champagne, prohibit people from sleeping under the stars and no more dinners on deck. All those toys — the jet skis and the like — you can do away with those too. You’ve made it far too easy for people to succumb to the delusion of being yacht owners.

Think of it this way. Your yachts are like flying first class, where guests have lots of space, good food and endless glasses of champagne. You need to downgrade to coach class. Make them suffer. That will show them! You are giving far too much Mr. Brynestad. The guests/owners/passengers — whatever they are — are getting away with far too much.

Do you really want people thinking like Mr. Katz: “You can get anything you wish for on this vessel,” he confided to me with a wink after requesting lamb chops for dinner (they weren’t on the menu). “And if you don’t get it,” Mr. Katz added, “you didn’t ask for it.”

You may want to check the passenger manifest at the end of the week, Mr. Brynestad, just to make sure that Mr. Katz has disembarked. Or maybe he’s chosen to stay on board. Really, it seems to be his choice. After all, he’s in command.

Bettina Fischer is living her dream — literally.

Interviewed on SeaDream I, anchored in the turquoise waters off the coast of Tortola, the 36-year-old from Bonn, Germany, says she spent quite a lot of time dreaming about her vacation (with her boyfriend) — and then proceeded to live the dream once on board.

“I imagined where we were going to sit (their favorite area: the open-deck area known as Top of the Yacht) and what it would feel like to be sitting there,” she says. The affable young lady says she even went as far as to imagine what it would feel like to ride the gentle swell of the sea with a light breeze blowing while she slept under the stars on one night of her cruise.

Fischer used resources such as photos and deck plans to envision SeaDream I, so that she had a good idea of the vessel’s layout even before stepping on board. More importantly, her research allowed her to begin to feel the experience of sailing, even before leaving Bonn.

“I always begin by looking at travel magazines and brochures to try to get a picture of what I would like to do,” she says. “Once I decide on a trip, I then occupy my mind on where I am going to be, what I am going to do and what it’s going to feel like.” She says allowing herself to imagine so vividly fills her with a sense of enchantment about the journey.

Fischer and her boyfriend also spent time thinking what would constitute not only a perfect cruise but also a perfect vessel. “SeaDream I was very close to what we could imagine would be the perfect ship for us,” she says. “It was pretty much like I dreamed it would be — only better.”

What about you? Do you spend time dreaming of your trips or imaging what it will be like once under way? Does doing so enhance your vacation?

A sailing on SeaDream leaves many indelible images, but one of the most memorable for me, oddly enough, takes the form of a Tabasco bottle.  

After placing on my table a plate of sunny-side-up eggs and link sausage, Brian, the ever-smiling waiter, asked if I would care for anything else. When I requested Tabasco sauce, he returned with the bottle, then did something I was not expecting. He twisted the cap and gently placed it and the bottle on my table.

Brian’s service gesture was amplified many times during the week on SeaDream I. It was such a small thing, yet so big. SeaDream’s staff seems to forever search for ways to surprise guests with examples of exemplary service.

The thing is, that none of their efforts seem contrived or scripted. “You get the impression that they genuinely love their jobs,” says Bettina, who traveled from Bonn, Germany, to sail on SeaDream this week, with her boyfriend.

While special service touches  - chilled towels, water spritzes by the pool and the like - have become de facto for luxury vacation providers, SeaDream’s staff seems to function more spontaneously than other luxury operators and with some degree of autonomy.

Dorothy, a publicist from New York, was sunning by the pool when Felix, a deck steward, approached her and asked to borrow her sunglasses. She submitted to his request but thought it was odd, until she saw Felix pull out a bottle of cleaner and a cloth to polish her sunglasses. Noting that she also had a pair of reading glasses dangling around her neck, Felix cleaned those too.

This morning, Mike, another waiter on board, walked the outdoor dining area wishing each table he approached a good morning. He greeted each person by name, a remarkable feat when you consider there are typically more than 100 guests on board.

Perhaps it’s having one of the industry’s highest staff-to-guest ratios that makes SeaDream’s service so exemplary (nearly one staff for every guest), but of course what it really comes down to is the staff’s good attitudes and a desire to make people’s vacations extra special that makes the SeaDream experience so special.

View from SeaDream 1, anchored in Soper’s Hole, Tortola.

Here at Soper’s Hole, in the British Virgin Islands, it’s hard to believe it’s Friday, a workday mind you. The tiny harbor is bustling with leisure boats, coming and going, some setting sail under the gentle breeze. It is a playful and carefree atmosphere, with dolphins frolicking astern of SeaDream I, one of the few passenger vessels able to get into this secluded bay in Tortola.

Leaning on the railing, looking out on this beautiful bay reminds me of the famous signature phrase uttered by Mad magazine’s fictional mascot Alfred E. Neuman, “What? Me Worry?” Indeed, the “real” world and its concerns seem far, far away.

This evening, we drop anchor in Great Harbor at Jost Van Dyke, with tenders operating on a continuous basis between SeaDream I and Foxy’s, the famous watering hole.

Visiting the smaller ports is an experience that the big cruise ships just can’t offer to their guests. But then, we’re not cruising; we’re yachting.